By the Anonymous Raiser
The sequence of Creation is as follows: Be+Do= Have or Being leads to Doing which produces Having. For example, I decide to be the creator of a sandwich, I take out the bread and stack my desired ingredients doing the sequence that produces the sandwich, then I have a sandwich.
For many young people this natural flow has been altered in the primacy of Having leading them to be unskilled at Doing and without a personal foundational understanding of who they are to themselves and how to be a participant in the world of their daily lives.
This short circuit on the creation sequence affects their ability to take ownership of and function effectively in their own lives to their detriment. Sticking with my sandwich metaphor, it’s as if , actually quite literally as well, our young people are often given sandwiches. Appearing from out of nowhere, handed to them in many if not all aspects of their lives, they come as completed and are therefore expected.
Of course, if one is curious and interested one may easily reverse engineer said sandwich. We can see the teens who are innately inspired to learn self-empowered through these types of discoveries and relative commitment to their own continued progress. But what about the far larger majority of society’s teens? With the hormonal changes that naturally make the transition into adulthood tough, coupled with the amount of attention that is lost in investment in social media. Many of our teens simply do not have the attention to be inspired. This is actually a matter of some gravity.
Why would those who appreciate the fact of sandwiches appearing to them want to learn how to make sandwiches? This can be the seed of Entitlement that we have recently seen a rise in culture-wide. Natural consequences are experiential proof a person can learn from. Words in truth, do not teach. We can set up win win situations when we give our teenagers clear definitions of what they are accountable for and keep them so. This is exercised in the integrity of our own agreement to them. We have to recontextualize the results of breaking these agreements.
The responsibility is upon us as raisers, to vet all possible outcomes so that none get in the way of the young person’s highest good. In this way, they can be comfortable experiencing how to learn from mistakes and we can be comfortable watching them do so.
When we get uncomfortable with their emotional or hormonal displays enough to concede or rescind, then we are not doing our part and in effect we are showing them that they have our permission to sell themselves short . There has been a long momentum in this planet-wide. Many times it has been easier to give them their sandwich or let them off the hook than to endure the violence they can perpetrate, that was correct and you should feel good about learning how that is effective in it’s own way and acknowledge when that choice has run it’s course for you. Acknowledge that you are capable of new levels of empowerment.Life by nature is not a manipulative phenomenon. And force is only ever used by those who have forgotten their own power.
All parents wants to give their children the best life they can provide- that is natural. Great innovations are now emerging in our systems on this planet and I applaud your courage and your raising activity. Cherish your love for the teenagers of this world as a victory and a gift to us all. In that alone if for nothing else, you are unmistakably fierce.
Now that much is certain. x
*Picture credit to Smiles and Sundays: Teenagers: The Entitled Generation?